My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
