I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
