You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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