The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
