Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
