Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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