he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
