this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it hurts more in the daytime
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
