she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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