I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
