I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
