I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
