I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
