I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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