its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
