just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
