Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
