I wish I could punch you in the face.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
