I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
