Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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