I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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