My hand turned me down
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize