my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I will pee on everything he values.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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