O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
