Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think your dad took our porno
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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