the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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