in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
