I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
