Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
