my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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