8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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