I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
