My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
