I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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