Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
