So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
