I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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