Barsexuality is the new black.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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