Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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