I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
