I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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