i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
