it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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