i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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