My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just found puke in my bra..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
