You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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