3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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