Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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