K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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