booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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