just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
