My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You've changed since you got that strap on
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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