i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
