she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
