If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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