how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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