you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
