Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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