I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just high enough for therapy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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