my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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