stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
