i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
