Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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