I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
