when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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